The Cell Phone Tinkler

Can someone please explain this to me?

Why do we feel the need to take the cell phone conversation into the bathroom with us these days?

Is what you're saying THAT important?

Really?

R.E.A.L.L.Y.???

And this is an international phenomenon. . .

So I'm at Dulles International Airport (inexplicably called "IAD" for short) and I'm wandering around concourse D and I find a small, yet empty, ladies for my own private use.

Score!

As I'm washing my hands, in walks an IAD employee

talking a mile a minute into her cell phone.

What language was she speaking? Russian? Armenian?

I do not know.

What I do know is that she did not stop talking or even take a breath as she entered a stall and proceeded to do her business. I made a hasty exit, as loud tinkling resounded from the stall, barely audible over the mid-european-ish diatribe.

This encounter raises several questions, such as:

1. Is this not considered rude behavior all the way around?

2. Doesn't this open your phone up to an unnecessary proximity to cell-phone damaging water as you are about two seconds away from dropping it into a (possibly soiled) toilet bowl?

3. You don't need BOTH hands in there????

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you have to go THAT BAD,

you can call me back!

Seriously, I'm fine with that.

BEST.PRODUCT.NAME.EVER.

Dig it:

I finally spied one of these in an LAX ladies and it's pure genius!

You know you wish you had thought of it!

(Oh, btw, just TRY to NOT find porn when you google search for "hiny hiders". Go ahead, I dare you).

Don't Mess With Texas (Girls)

Another gem from undercover photog MD, this time from an un-named restaurant's ladies room somewhere in Texas:

That's right, the LADIES ROOM.

MD claims he did not take the photo himself, let's just believe him, shall we?

Not sure what's going here, but I postulate that it's some sort of retaliatory gesture - probably in reference to the obvious lack of tp, or maybe for the hideous lighting scheme.

Scary Times in Texas

No, I'm not talking about the racing, I'm talking about this:

(My undercover, roving reporter, I'll just call him"MD", captured this image in one of the mens rooms at Texas Motorspeedway)

Huh.

April 17, 2010 - TEXAS MOTOR SPEEDWAY

It's raining.

In Texas.

(srsly?)

A n y w a y. . .

I'm pretty optimistic about this track. Check it out:

The track (and by "the track" I mean "the real bathrooms") doesn't/don't look that far away, does/do it/them?

Not as close as Phoenix (you'll have to take my word for it, I didn't take a picture), but still pretty close.

(looks cloudy, no? That's because it's RAINING.)

See, it only took me 2 minutes to walk up to the pretend 99 car!

Saaayyyy...THIS looks promising!

Texas Motorspeedway definitely has their priorities straight!

And the ladies room does NOT disappoint!

Look at all those stalls:

But WAIT - there's more!

That's 2 - count 'em! - TWO full sides to this, ladies.

A modern engineering marvel.

And the best part is, most people don't look for the 2nd side. It's like your own private palace. . .

. . .a porcelain, concrete and metal palace, but a palace nonetheless.

However, I'm not sure if this reassures or scares me:

Hmm. . .

I'll let you be the judge.

The Porcelain Report -TEXAS MOTORSPEEDWAY

For Texas Motorspeeday:

4 out of 5 bowls!

Texas gets dinged just one bowl because of the distance from

compound to bathrooms and because it was really cold and wet.

That's not the track's fault, but I don't really care, because

I hate being cold and wet, end of story.

TMS definitely went for quantity, and they succeeded, but it's not enough to go all the way.

The Starbucks Indicator

(0/poor/low/medium/high):

Dallas/Ft. Worth:

medium

We did find a perfectly acceptable Starbucks in

the Albertson's down the street.

It was legit - not one of those "we proudly serve Starbucks coffee"

fake-assed Starbucks. They never have soy milk.

Future Starbucks indication prediction: rising

PInk Mafia Postscript

P.S. - it is impossible to take cell phone photos of porta-potties without looking like a complete creepy weirdo fruitcake.

Just sayin'.